[but-- well, even if they get him back, it's not going to fix what happened or remove that experience, just like it didn't for anyone else who had to die, and it sounded pretty damn rough.]
We'll figure out what comes next.
[her mind clearly still isn't off everything, though.]
[she exhales a breath, there, focuses a little more. she's still not doing great after the news from claude, but-- overall... overall, they managed what they set out to do. they did what they had to, hopefully returned with what they might need.
and thinking back on that, on what they did--]
...when I wasn't myself-- that version of me, I-- tried to hurt you. I know that I meant to, with the things I said to you.
You didn't let me.
[this time, I'm staying. she remembers him reiterating that, very clearly.]
[It takes him a second, but he lifts his head when he catches on to what she's referring.
Of all things, that's what's on her mind? Granted, she's the type who thinks about a great many thing at once. Still, for this to be among them is a surprise.]
You've said it yourself. That wasn't the real you. Why would I have listened to anything a false personality said to me?
[she was going to apologize for what they put him and lila through earlier, of course it's one of the things on her mind, don't @ her.]
Maybe I should rephrase. I believed, fundamentally, some things that weren't true, and those drove me to act-- but it might not be entirely accurate to say that wasn't me.
There was. It happened early-- I felt like arguing with you over just about anything there was an excuse for. That didn't escalate to wanting to fight you until we were in the tunnel, but... we were certainly being influenced to dislike and blame you before then.
[The mattress bounces slightly as he drops back onto it.]
You're all back to yourselves, and Malik got his original form back. Do you think it bruised when I stepped on his tail? . . . Which part of him would that even be?
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[she just sounds exhausted.]
Of course we're going to try to find a way. We have to. But if we put an end to all of this-- what if it falls apart before we can.
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[just-- dragging a hand down her face. fuck.]
Believe me, I know.
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Don't worry about it, Lucretia. There's still time.
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[but-- well, even if they get him back, it's not going to fix what happened or remove that experience, just like it didn't for anyone else who had to die, and it sounded pretty damn rough.]
We'll figure out what comes next.
[her mind clearly still isn't off everything, though.]
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What's on your mind?
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and thinking back on that, on what they did--]
...when I wasn't myself-- that version of me, I-- tried to hurt you. I know that I meant to, with the things I said to you.
You didn't let me.
[this time, I'm staying. she remembers him reiterating that, very clearly.]
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Of all things, that's what's on her mind? Granted, she's the type who thinks about a great many thing at once. Still, for this to be among them is a surprise.]
You've said it yourself. That wasn't the real you. Why would I have listened to anything a false personality said to me?
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Maybe I should rephrase. I believed, fundamentally, some things that weren't true, and those drove me to act-- but it might not be entirely accurate to say that wasn't me.
[a version of her, but still her on some level.]
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[She already knows his thoughts on people and compulsions.]
All it succeeded in was angering me.
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[The mattress bounces slightly as he drops back onto it.]
You're all back to yourselves, and Malik got his original form back. Do you think it bruised when I stepped on his tail? . . . Which part of him would that even be?
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I am not thinking about that, Sieghart-!
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[He turns his head her way. She laughed, did she? Now that's a win.]
Why not? Wouldn't you want to be sure that it healed completely when Hope used his magic?
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[listen either it wouldn't exist at all or it'd be attached to his butt! these are weird things to consider!
in before you make a backside joke at me.]
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Who said anything about those?
We should count ourselves lucky. All things considered, we got out relatively unscathed.
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Physically, yes, we did, but-- I don't know that it was necessarily that easy on all of us.
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