[ she is angrier now, to hear of a shadow. it doesn't erase that he still killed, but if he wasn't in full control of himself, she can be even more furious at the hotel and its owner.
if they manipulated him.... ]
I understand. [ she is seething. ] You weren't planning anything before Thursday, were you?
Killing anyone wasn't on my mind. It just stopped feeling so wrong after a while, and I didn't have the will to stop myself when I saw Flayn that night.
[He answers her in a matter-of-fact tone, because he knows himself well enough to acknowledge that the capacity to steal away a life has always rested within him. There's no absolving himself of this one. These are merely the terrible facts, bolstered by his weakness.]
[ that is enough for her to cast more blame on this entire place. yes, he still killed, but she'd be hypocritical when she killed without her self-control being taken away from her.
she can no longer be as black-or-white as she used to, but it still hurts. ]
I believe you. I can't absolve you, but I believe you.
[ ... ]
How do you want tomorrow to go for you, Sieghart-san? If I ask you how you feel about it all or if there's anything you want, will you tell me?
[Shinobu's values are strong. She's a bit acerbic, but there's heart in everything she says. Between this and his own behavior of late, he feels now that she's owed the truth.]
I feel ashamed.
[His failures and cruelty loom over him like a reader's scythe. Still, he straightens his shoulders and smiles.]
But that doesn't mean I've given up. I'm probably going to die tomorrow. Once I do, I want to save everyone; I won't stop until then.
Of course I'm worried. [No. He's deathly afraid of what'll become of her if this hostage situation is truly real. He's so, so afraid that she'll be gone.] That's why I have to do everything I can. She's got a whole future ahead of her; I can't lose her to this evil.
... I was worried, had no other force influenced you, they would have forced your hand by threatening her even more.
[ after all, people who take hostages, real or not, are willing to do any terrible thing. ]
I will do my best so everyone is saved. If this place is like any of the others, you won't be completely out of reach. I'll try to find a way to contact you.
[His smile is almost wan as he keeps mum. Would he have bent his knee to threats? After all that Mari's had to endure . . . A large, selfish part of him believes he wouldn't.]
Coming from you, I'll believe it. And I'll return that favor.
[After all the hours that were poured into discerning the truth, he can't refuse her.]
. . . When I saw Flayn in the lobby after leaving the room, I had to go after her. I ran her into the gift shop, and we had a scuffle there; in the process of her escaping, I hit the wall and cut my hand on the snow globe. Then I followed her to the butterfly garden, where she tried to lose me . . . and I broke her neck.
[He says it simply, because even that wouldn't have sufficed. That he did it at all is a sin, which Shinobu surely understands. But when he thinks about the terror he must've prolonged with each second he slipped or lost sight of Flayn, he can only curse his incompetence in even failure.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
week 0: saturday
Sieghart-san, is there anything you'd be willing to tell me?
no subject
I'll tell you everything I can. Where should I start?
no subject
she's posture perfect, and her smile is one that gives away nothing, but it's not hard to tell her vibes are smad. ]
Was this by your own choice?
no subject
[Naturally, he's in the cell. More specifically, he's seated on the bed, though he has no intention of sleeping anytime soon.
Shinobu's entitled to her feelings on the matter, so he doesn't say anything regarding those.]
But how I feel shouldn't affect the facts. There was a shadow; though I'm ashamed to say so, it broke down my self-control.
no subject
if they manipulated him.... ]
I understand. [ she is seething. ] You weren't planning anything before Thursday, were you?
[ she has to double check. ]
no subject
[He answers her in a matter-of-fact tone, because he knows himself well enough to acknowledge that the capacity to steal away a life has always rested within him. There's no absolving himself of this one. These are merely the terrible facts, bolstered by his weakness.]
no subject
she can no longer be as black-or-white as she used to, but it still hurts. ]
I believe you. I can't absolve you, but I believe you.
[ ... ]
How do you want tomorrow to go for you, Sieghart-san? If I ask you how you feel about it all or if there's anything you want, will you tell me?
no subject
I feel ashamed.
[His failures and cruelty loom over him like a reader's scythe. Still, he straightens his shoulders and smiles.]
But that doesn't mean I've given up. I'm probably going to die tomorrow. Once I do, I want to save everyone; I won't stop until then.
no subject
Are you fine with dying?
no subject
[Pain is never fun. He doesn't enjoy dying, but he knows to make full use of what he has.]
And, one day . . . I'll die for good. But I'm a greedy man: I'll keep going until then.
no subject
[ she closes her eyes for a brief moment. ]
I am glad you are still willing to help and you aren't giving up, but Sieghart-san... the reason you are here, are you not worried for them?
no subject
Of course I'm worried. [No. He's deathly afraid of what'll become of her if this hostage situation is truly real. He's so, so afraid that she'll be gone.] That's why I have to do everything I can. She's got a whole future ahead of her; I can't lose her to this evil.
no subject
[ after all, people who take hostages, real or not, are willing to do any terrible thing. ]
I will do my best so everyone is saved. If this place is like any of the others, you won't be completely out of reach. I'll try to find a way to contact you.
no subject
Coming from you, I'll believe it. And I'll return that favor.
no subject
I try not say anything I don't mean.
[ unless it's to a demon. ]
no subject
Is there anything else you have to say, then? If not, you should go and get some rest.
no subject
Will you tell me how it ended?
[ give her the murder plot run down. ]
no subject
. . . When I saw Flayn in the lobby after leaving the room, I had to go after her. I ran her into the gift shop, and we had a scuffle there; in the process of her escaping, I hit the wall and cut my hand on the snow globe. Then I followed her to the butterfly garden, where she tried to lose me . . . and I broke her neck.
no subject
.... it's not great, but it could have been worse. she takes it in as impassively as possible, but shinobu has never been impassive. ]
At least it wasn't too drawn out.
no subject
[He says it simply, because even that wouldn't have sufficed. That he did it at all is a sin, which Shinobu surely understands. But when he thinks about the terror he must've prolonged with each second he slipped or lost sight of Flayn, he can only curse his incompetence in even failure.]